Outed to the Family

I have just recently gotten back from a short trip around Europe with the family. They paid me a visit here in London you see and we decided to all have a merry adventure for a change after being separated for so long. It was in this interim period during their stay in London that my sexuality became known to them. I guess it wasn't too wise of me to make phone calls to a boy at night continuously for multiple nights in a row but suffice to say, they know.

Oddly enough my dad is rather alright with it. He was far more calm and accepting about the news than I'd have thought. Mother on the other hand went into abject silence and wasn't taking it too well. I could sense the disappointment and guilt and sadness emanating from her. Think she questioned whether sending me overseas was the right thing to do after all. Odd, I was always under the impression of my mom being the chilled one and my dad being the anti gay. Funny how the reality of the matter is.

All things considered I think they're taking it relatively well. Told them about my past love and how I lost it. Emphasized to them I still liked girls and that seems to have relieved my mom a whole ton and she has since began to talk a whole lot more about girls to me. I think she's trying to go into denial about the other side of me and just hope I get a girlfriend soon. The Korean girl that I met in a gay club and introduced to my parents a couple of weeks ago is currently the constant subject that they focus on. She got along well with my mom so I guess that's a good sign but I'm just not entirely feeling it with her.

Life probably won't quite be the same again. They will probably be suspicious of every male friend I bring over home for a sleepover or what not from now onwards. They'll probably scrutinise my every interaction with my male friends for signs of excessive affection too. I guess they'll just have to live with the reality of who I am. Ultimately, I am still their son and they are still my parents. Our love for each other doesn't change because of my preferences and it shouldn't. Maybe in time it will only make us closer.

I am who I am. Bisexual and proud.

London Pride

This post is way overdue but just a weekend or two ago London had it's Pride Day with the expected Pride Parades. Coming from conservative Malaysia, it comes to no surprise that I've had no experience whatsoever with regards to fashionable and fabulous events of such colour and so I got myself there as a curious observer. Naturally.

I'll say, London is pretty gay. Gayer than I had initially given it credit for. Soho (Gayville) in London was teeming with a ridiculous number of people and I think that segment of the city became a third world nation for awhile with all the bottles and trash littering the streets. Come on Britain, you're supposed to be a First World nation. Don't be daft and forget your civic lessons from school, Lord Almighty.

The Parade itself was rather interesting with a variety of colours and causes both political and religious being advanced. So we had the Gay athiests, Hindu, Christian, Catholics, environmentalist, geek, communist, lawyers, doctors, firemen, army yadda yadda associations all coming out of the woodwork and giving us a damn good display on the streets of Oxford Circus, down Regent's Street all the way towards Picadilly and finally stopping at Trafalgar Square for the Grand Concert.

  

Above all the association that impressed me most was the LGBT Muslim association. When they came out, the crowd cheered louder than ever. Instinctively I cheered pretty damn loud myself before even realising it. In a way I was just happy seeing my fellow Muslims having a voice of tolerance and trying to initiate a renaissance of acceptance, and even though it would be a long long arduous road ahead fraught with dangers and challenges, these brave men and women led the charge. Almost brought me to tears to be honest.

  

 Very courageous

There was also the LGBT lawyers marching around in their fancy wigs and robes. The Bar Standards Board must be indulging in much wailing, groaning and gnashing of teeth at the sight of the symbols of judicial might being used so fabulously. Conversely, one could say justice is being paraded for a good cause. I digress. Instinctively one of the gay lawyers stuck a gay lawyer sticker on my shoulder (I was getting all sorts of stickers put upon me even as an observer). Maybe I just have a legal vibe about me. Makes all the bitches at Heaven seem to think I'm pompous and hate on me for some reason. Oh well, no surprise when half of the idiots there are doing fine art and fashion and other assorted bullshit courses. Fuck me, digressed again.

Barrister in wig and gown hidden in the left.

One of my straight friends spontaneously decided to drop by in London on that day itself. Obviously being the closeted bisexual I did not let my true inclinations out for all and sundry and that included hiding said inclinations from him. We met up and he interestingly enough was all for attending the LGBT event in Trafalgar Square and just showing his support and tolerance as a straight man without prejudice towards the community. Even took a picture with a fabulous transsexual there. These are the types of people I want to surround myself with. Open minded, compassionate and non judgmental. I appreciate him really.

  

Crowds at Trafalgar Square

Later that day I decided to join a white friend whom used to like me quite abit to party. I got dragged into Soho and there was Black Pride for the Afro-Carribean LGBT community of London being held at one corner near a small square/park. So I joined my old admirer and his black faghag to dance with the rest of the LGBT Afro-Carribeans to soulful black music. I think I must have been the only Asian dancing in a crowd of very happy gay black men. Did I mention I kinda like blacks? Not that I've tried one and most Asians are so judgmental about that. Fuck off. Don't hate.

 

Soho being bloody crowded

Finally on the night itself one of the clubs was having the Backstreet Boys and the Wanted performing back to back after midnight. Got myself hammered with my black and white bitches and we looked like a colorful United Nations of Drunkards. The line was bloody awful because apparently the Backstreet Uncles are still popular with the faggots of London.

Waited in line for the next 2 hours or so till my high went down although at least the people in the line were interesting. Some Americans and Australians added to the fun. So we were all tossing nationality and racial jokes at each other and when it came to me nobody had shit to use against Malaysia because most people don't know jack shit about Malaysia anyway. So instead I got all kinds of racist Thai jokes thrown my way. Bugger me senseless, apparently Malaysians like to give "sucky sucky 3.50 Baht" and what not. Luckily I wasn't Thai or I would just be slightly offended.

And yes I obviously missed out on the Backstreet Boys because of the retardedly long queue although at least I got to catch the Wanted. Gotta pity the Wanted though, everyone was leaving as soon as the Backstreet Boys were done. Overall it was a good weekend. London's fun when its this gay.

 I'm glad you came. *cheeky smile*

Warning Not Work Safe: Porn Idol 2

So not too long ago I brought one of my rather inexperienced friends over to Heaven for Porn Idol night because, why the hell not. To those unaware, Porn Idol is an event at one of London's largest gay clubs whereby anyone from the audience and in general can do a dance and song striptease over a pole in front of the crowd before being judged by a panel of 3 incredibly funny (and oftentimes bitchy) judges X Factor style.

So basically I arrived there with my rather naive and innocent friend whom I was about to corrupt and bumped into more mates there because everyone loves Porn Idol. A disclaimer though, because of the open nature of the competition you can sometimes receive the very best of the sexiest beasts to the very worst of the undateables. So without further ado: Porn Idol.

Note: The less attractive contestants have been eliminated from this list as when I mean they are bad, they really are bad. According to one female judge: "I don't know whether to shag or feed you honey, you look more brittle than my personal China Tea set."

 Contestant 1 blazes out his moves and according to one of the female judges: "You make my fanny wetter than the Titanic, I'd shag you rough over the stage itself honey" Definitely a show stopper with his application of body oil all over himself.

 Contestant 3 is the only female in the competition and the first one I've ever seen in Porn Idol. Very likely a Butch Lesbian but she's on fucking fire and wilder than a bitch in heat. Security had to control her a few times and the bitchy judges were less than impressed by her despite jaw dropping dance moves. And yes she shows her fanny.

 Contestant 4 is a Californian boy that has a similar enough bone structure to mine with more meat on of course so I naturally felt attached. Not too bad.

 Contestant 5 comes in with a full suit, bowtie and top hat before ripping them all off and getting down and dirty with the pole. Overall I preferred him with his clothes on though.

 Contestant 6 was an Italian guy that spoke no English so he just went all out for it. Unfortunately he could not understand any comments the judges made no matter how snide.

 Contestant 9 was a tourist from one of those Scandinavian countries and I thought he had a certain charm about him with his sporting attitude on stage. Thought he was somewhat hot but I didn't get a clear picture. Fail.

Thereafter all the contestants are lined up and the screams from the audience for each of them would be counted as a vote to preserve the final two whom would then give a final performance.

 Guy with the awkward thumbs up was apparently a legal provider. Friends were giving me funny looks and asking if that's what happens in the profession. Fuck me, that was awkward. Wonder what the Bar Standards Board would think.

And so the finals ended being between the lesbian contestant 3 and Mr hot shot contestant 1. They both showed us some crazy moves although the woman was bloody mental. They kept leaping unto each other in a mock fight before security tore them apart a couple of times. Was pretty damn funny I'd say.

So the final bunch of screams seemed to indicate just slightly stronger support for the woman although being a gay club and all the judges were fucking biased against her it wasn't even funny. So guess who won? Duh. The dude, oh well, gay club. Hah!

And ironically that night I spent quite a fair deal dancing with some Korean chick in the same club before taking down her number during the "Call me Maybe" segment. This is getting odd, me dancing with random chicks in Heaven before taking down their numbers and never calling anyway. Oh well, I like my stranger routine I guess. Weird that way. It's interesting how comfortable girls are to just dancing with you freely when they think you're gay, until I correct them otherwise and they go "No wonder." Ah well, bisexuality. Best of both worlds.

Funky Buddha

Over the weekend I decided to join my colleagues for a round of straight clubbing for a change. After spending prolonged periods of time in Heaven and the gay circle this would prove to be a refreshing change and so we decided on one of the poshest avenues in Mayfair. Funky Buddha.

Now the name itself is bound to raise eyebrows but wait till you get a load of the sacrilegious den of sin we were headed to. Inside the place itself there were actually...Buddha statues around. Not sure if it was tasteless or funny but I guess it added to the ambiance of partying in a temple perhaps? Secularism gone wild hah.

I kid you not. This is a club with religious iconography.

Suffice to say, as usual partying with the posh kids they decide that having a few drinks wasn't enough. If you recall the crazy bitches I partied with the last round you can reckon what was happening next. Yes, a giant bottle of vodka worth a thousand quid (pounds). With ten of us there it would still be a hundred each and that shit burned a massive hole in my wallet. And this lads is why I don't go straight clubbing in London.

But damn was it a good experience, haven't felt this straight in ages. Went around dancing with random Hong Kong chicks after taking one too many gulps. As usual, Asian girls can't drink for shits and a number of them in our group started collapsing one after the other. Before I realised it the whole crew was mostly knocked out and I was alone in the club, half drunk myself.

And that's when I proceeded to strike random conversations with people around the club and on the streets in my dysfunctional Scouse accent. Mother would be proud. It's Mother's Day. I think I'll stick to Heaven next time. Or find different party mates at the straight clubs because damn it I don't think I can afford prolonged parties with the rich and famous here. Dad would be livid, as should I.

De-Stress Parties

So I've been having myself some long deserved parties after locking myself up for the last month or so and decided to go to Heaven for a change on Thursday. It was Porn Idol night and I'd received some recommendations to check it out for some time now so I decided to do so. Popped by G-A-Y bar in Soho for some drinks with my usual party mate, the Macau slut, and he intro-ed me to some fit Singaporean men. Bugger, this Macau friend always introduces me to the cutest lads and I have no idea where the hell he finds these boys from.

Was abit of a parasite being bottom boy all night and getting drinks thrown my way for the night. There are some perks being pampered that way heh. Some drunken Scouse lady next to us persistently flashed a boob in our direction. Had my arse squeezed by some random black chicks behind me as well. Heh, just because we're bent women suddenly feel all confident sexually harassing us. I reckon if the tables were turned the authorities would have come down hard and fast on us already. That sentence sounded wrong.

Anyway fast forward to the club and my fellow skanks decide to jump on the stage from the get go. Wasn't remotely tipsy yet but damn it, had myself dragged unto the elevated platform as well. One of the Singaporean guys I met that night was getting along relatively well with me. Apparently he quite liked the Malaysian gay scene in Marketplace as well and said that Malaysian boys were getting cuter. Heh, flattery. He's got a nice set of guns and his pecs were tempting, I took the dance.

The highlight was the Porn Idols. Basically every Thursday 8 people would volunteer to go on stage and do a dance and strip everything off. 3 judges would assess them X-Factor style and the audience would cheer and vote for who would win. If anyone from the audience were interested they could go on stage and strip as well. There was this Black American tourist that went on stage and fuck me was he hot. I'm starting to think most Americans are leaps and bounds hotter than the standard British person here. What is it about these Yanks?

The final three contestants were finally called on stage and one of them was apparently a straight boy in the army so the gays were screaming their lungs off. Then again there seemed to be a hell of alot of women that night too, all taking advantage of the free cock show they were getting. In the end though some hot German guy won and took home his 100 quid prize.

Obviously I partied on after that for abit more, had some White boys hit on me but I wasn't exactly interested. Mostly enjoyed dancing with the Singaporeans and Macau skank. Bumped into his fellow Hong Kong buddies and we all partied for abit more. I recognised one of them as a friend of the ex so we had some small talk and he tossed me some reassuring words. Nice of him.

And over the course of the night the Singaporean dude I was dancing with eventually got quite abit touchier. Not a bad kisser I'd say, 3rd on my list so far if I were to rank it. Not as sloppy as some twats I've had the misfortune of kissing. Whatever happened after you can all go figure. Think I was slightly off my rockers but I think I needed it. The night was good.

And the morning after was spent watching the shittiest Tom Cruise movie, Oblivion, with my fellow colleagues. No idea why but 2013 has been full of shit movies lately apart from Cloud Atlas of course. Can't wait for Iron Man 3 to premiere and save me from this film hell.

Life in Motion

Apologies for the stagnation and decay of the blog but the vicissitudes of life will sometimes take precedent. Combined with a severe case of writer's block and a disgusting workload it's no shocker that there are bound to be limited updates. Not that I am disappointing anyone tangible given my silent reader base. They're there, lurking just ever quietly so I can slip up and write my mouth off. Not today.

I am returning for the first Chinese New Year's in a long long while. The heart quivers with anticipation and longing to finally be able to see my kin, my closest and dearest once again. Every year Chinese New Year has been marred with exams and the shitty weather dear Britain is all too happy to throw my way.

This year I've been graced by forces beyond my control or comprehension with a week long holiday combined with my generous weekends to allow for a quick excursion back. Bloody joy I'd say. I've had my appointment cards filled to the brim and I'm just glad I can see the Australian students for a change given their inverse seasons and schedules of being on the wrong half of the hemisphere. I jest bitches, calm your tits.

Speaking of Australian students there will be one in particular I would be honoured to meet. It's been a long time coming, but I hope I will live up to expectations and we'd mingle like we always do. I still care, I'm still excited in my own way but we all have our apprehensions now don't we? Conveniently I'll be home for Valentines so no lovey dovey celebrations in London I'm afraid, but who needs setting over an individual to share it with eh? Potentially of course, can't forget the disclaimers. One can only hope the feeling's still mutual.

The course is kicking into full gear now, they don't grant holidays without demanding some blood and God damn it are they sending fire and brimstone my way. You buy your holidays with proper sweat and tears I'm afraid. That doesn't mean my social life has to take a complete hike of course, it just means I get to feel that much guiltier after.

This recent weekend was a rather interesting one with the UK's largest federation of Malaysian students organising this big conference like they'd always do year in and out where political big wigs, social activists, and corporate high horses get to prance around on stage and dispense in fancy dialogue whilst students fire away with questions. Last year even had the Seksualiti Merdeka's activist Pang Khee Teik talking which I thought was a rather bold move.

This year was supposed to have some ministers duking it out but with the elections being so close no political party would take the risk of leaving the country. At least we had ourselves Raja Petra, charming heh. Probably best for me to leave my politics out of this blog before all and sundry know my identity. But yes, the event was good I would say, occupied my weekend with more worries and irritations from home.

 I think I've indulged myself sufficiently now and quenched my guilt with this obligatory blog post. I shall now have to appease the guilt of more procrastinated work piling. I wonder if I'd be a bigger success story if I channeled my skills in an organised and structured fashion. I guess I would not be me then if that were the case now eh. Hope this blog doesn't end up in hibernation again.