Bi-Phobic Gay Guys

So I was scrolling through a number of gay blogs around cyber space when I stumbled upon this really cute and sweet looking Singaporean gay couple. So I went about reading through their entries feeling all "diabetical" from the severe amounts of sweetness until I came across an entry of theirs. It was hate filled and generalised in its nature.

Yes folks its a bi bashing entry.

Believe me, I take enough shit from the straight community as it is sometimes. But then having all these petty, bitchy, dainty, dramatic fairies talking smack about bi lads being unreliable, hedonistic serial heart breakers in the most generalised of fashions make me roll my eyes a little and go "well fuck you too mate".

Now really, I'm aware there are plenty of dicks that are among bi guys. Hell there are plenty of douchebags and losers in both straight and gay circles too. So how dare you lot seek to associate and tar brush an entire sexual orientation based on your personal over dramatized experiences. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves really. I actually have gay friends that bitch about me to their other gay friends warning them about me being bi and therefore being unreliable for any long term happiness. Oh fuck you lot really, that's next level two faced behaviour there. News always travels and I will come to know of it whether you realise it or not.

Then there's the other bullshit attitude of "bi erasure". The attitude that bi people don't and cannot actually exist. Again these wankers think that just because they were born liking boys or girls exclusively, everyone must therefore line up in their neat little ideas of reality and subscribe to only their perception of what humans are attracted to. The height of arrogance and ignorance I should say.

Oh you're just confused. 
You're just gay in denial.
 I don't believe in bi people. 
You'll become gay eventually.

How about no. No, no, no. I like how you lot deny my attraction to females as me being confused or in denial. It implies that I am incapable of making cogent decisions and am impaired in my faculties. I'm perfectly aware of myself thank you.

In a world where there is enough hate towards gay and transgendered people, I don't need pink bigots telling me how to live my life or calling my set of attractions wrong or belittling my sexual identity. You expect the straight world not to judge you and yet you lot judge a subset of your very own LGBT community. That is not to say all gay people do this obviously. Just a far too sizeable proportion of them, unfortunately. Stupid has no boundaries I guess, across borders, nations and sexual identities.

PS: If any of you terasa, tersinggung or perasan its quite possible that you are guilty by association. 

London Pride

This post is way overdue but just a weekend or two ago London had it's Pride Day with the expected Pride Parades. Coming from conservative Malaysia, it comes to no surprise that I've had no experience whatsoever with regards to fashionable and fabulous events of such colour and so I got myself there as a curious observer. Naturally.

I'll say, London is pretty gay. Gayer than I had initially given it credit for. Soho (Gayville) in London was teeming with a ridiculous number of people and I think that segment of the city became a third world nation for awhile with all the bottles and trash littering the streets. Come on Britain, you're supposed to be a First World nation. Don't be daft and forget your civic lessons from school, Lord Almighty.

The Parade itself was rather interesting with a variety of colours and causes both political and religious being advanced. So we had the Gay athiests, Hindu, Christian, Catholics, environmentalist, geek, communist, lawyers, doctors, firemen, army yadda yadda associations all coming out of the woodwork and giving us a damn good display on the streets of Oxford Circus, down Regent's Street all the way towards Picadilly and finally stopping at Trafalgar Square for the Grand Concert.

  

Above all the association that impressed me most was the LGBT Muslim association. When they came out, the crowd cheered louder than ever. Instinctively I cheered pretty damn loud myself before even realising it. In a way I was just happy seeing my fellow Muslims having a voice of tolerance and trying to initiate a renaissance of acceptance, and even though it would be a long long arduous road ahead fraught with dangers and challenges, these brave men and women led the charge. Almost brought me to tears to be honest.

  

 Very courageous

There was also the LGBT lawyers marching around in their fancy wigs and robes. The Bar Standards Board must be indulging in much wailing, groaning and gnashing of teeth at the sight of the symbols of judicial might being used so fabulously. Conversely, one could say justice is being paraded for a good cause. I digress. Instinctively one of the gay lawyers stuck a gay lawyer sticker on my shoulder (I was getting all sorts of stickers put upon me even as an observer). Maybe I just have a legal vibe about me. Makes all the bitches at Heaven seem to think I'm pompous and hate on me for some reason. Oh well, no surprise when half of the idiots there are doing fine art and fashion and other assorted bullshit courses. Fuck me, digressed again.

Barrister in wig and gown hidden in the left.

One of my straight friends spontaneously decided to drop by in London on that day itself. Obviously being the closeted bisexual I did not let my true inclinations out for all and sundry and that included hiding said inclinations from him. We met up and he interestingly enough was all for attending the LGBT event in Trafalgar Square and just showing his support and tolerance as a straight man without prejudice towards the community. Even took a picture with a fabulous transsexual there. These are the types of people I want to surround myself with. Open minded, compassionate and non judgmental. I appreciate him really.

  

Crowds at Trafalgar Square

Later that day I decided to join a white friend whom used to like me quite abit to party. I got dragged into Soho and there was Black Pride for the Afro-Carribean LGBT community of London being held at one corner near a small square/park. So I joined my old admirer and his black faghag to dance with the rest of the LGBT Afro-Carribeans to soulful black music. I think I must have been the only Asian dancing in a crowd of very happy gay black men. Did I mention I kinda like blacks? Not that I've tried one and most Asians are so judgmental about that. Fuck off. Don't hate.

 

Soho being bloody crowded

Finally on the night itself one of the clubs was having the Backstreet Boys and the Wanted performing back to back after midnight. Got myself hammered with my black and white bitches and we looked like a colorful United Nations of Drunkards. The line was bloody awful because apparently the Backstreet Uncles are still popular with the faggots of London.

Waited in line for the next 2 hours or so till my high went down although at least the people in the line were interesting. Some Americans and Australians added to the fun. So we were all tossing nationality and racial jokes at each other and when it came to me nobody had shit to use against Malaysia because most people don't know jack shit about Malaysia anyway. So instead I got all kinds of racist Thai jokes thrown my way. Bugger me senseless, apparently Malaysians like to give "sucky sucky 3.50 Baht" and what not. Luckily I wasn't Thai or I would just be slightly offended.

And yes I obviously missed out on the Backstreet Boys because of the retardedly long queue although at least I got to catch the Wanted. Gotta pity the Wanted though, everyone was leaving as soon as the Backstreet Boys were done. Overall it was a good weekend. London's fun when its this gay.

 I'm glad you came. *cheeky smile*

Warning Not Work Safe: Porn Idol 2

So not too long ago I brought one of my rather inexperienced friends over to Heaven for Porn Idol night because, why the hell not. To those unaware, Porn Idol is an event at one of London's largest gay clubs whereby anyone from the audience and in general can do a dance and song striptease over a pole in front of the crowd before being judged by a panel of 3 incredibly funny (and oftentimes bitchy) judges X Factor style.

So basically I arrived there with my rather naive and innocent friend whom I was about to corrupt and bumped into more mates there because everyone loves Porn Idol. A disclaimer though, because of the open nature of the competition you can sometimes receive the very best of the sexiest beasts to the very worst of the undateables. So without further ado: Porn Idol.

Note: The less attractive contestants have been eliminated from this list as when I mean they are bad, they really are bad. According to one female judge: "I don't know whether to shag or feed you honey, you look more brittle than my personal China Tea set."

 Contestant 1 blazes out his moves and according to one of the female judges: "You make my fanny wetter than the Titanic, I'd shag you rough over the stage itself honey" Definitely a show stopper with his application of body oil all over himself.

 Contestant 3 is the only female in the competition and the first one I've ever seen in Porn Idol. Very likely a Butch Lesbian but she's on fucking fire and wilder than a bitch in heat. Security had to control her a few times and the bitchy judges were less than impressed by her despite jaw dropping dance moves. And yes she shows her fanny.

 Contestant 4 is a Californian boy that has a similar enough bone structure to mine with more meat on of course so I naturally felt attached. Not too bad.

 Contestant 5 comes in with a full suit, bowtie and top hat before ripping them all off and getting down and dirty with the pole. Overall I preferred him with his clothes on though.

 Contestant 6 was an Italian guy that spoke no English so he just went all out for it. Unfortunately he could not understand any comments the judges made no matter how snide.

 Contestant 9 was a tourist from one of those Scandinavian countries and I thought he had a certain charm about him with his sporting attitude on stage. Thought he was somewhat hot but I didn't get a clear picture. Fail.

Thereafter all the contestants are lined up and the screams from the audience for each of them would be counted as a vote to preserve the final two whom would then give a final performance.

 Guy with the awkward thumbs up was apparently a legal provider. Friends were giving me funny looks and asking if that's what happens in the profession. Fuck me, that was awkward. Wonder what the Bar Standards Board would think.

And so the finals ended being between the lesbian contestant 3 and Mr hot shot contestant 1. They both showed us some crazy moves although the woman was bloody mental. They kept leaping unto each other in a mock fight before security tore them apart a couple of times. Was pretty damn funny I'd say.

So the final bunch of screams seemed to indicate just slightly stronger support for the woman although being a gay club and all the judges were fucking biased against her it wasn't even funny. So guess who won? Duh. The dude, oh well, gay club. Hah!

And ironically that night I spent quite a fair deal dancing with some Korean chick in the same club before taking down her number during the "Call me Maybe" segment. This is getting odd, me dancing with random chicks in Heaven before taking down their numbers and never calling anyway. Oh well, I like my stranger routine I guess. Weird that way. It's interesting how comfortable girls are to just dancing with you freely when they think you're gay, until I correct them otherwise and they go "No wonder." Ah well, bisexuality. Best of both worlds.