Misadventures

I think I have a magnetic personality. I have a tendency to attract weirdness and misadventures my way and towards the people around me. Take this incident at the bus stop in a dodgy street in London one night. Was sending a friend off one night yes when this gang of fuck knows what ethnicity approaches us and one of these randomers begin striking up a conversation. Not sure if he's plain bored waiting for the bus to arrive or just finds himself having a strong compulsive need to talk to young Asian boys.

So he asks us what we're up to yes, where are we off to and whether clubbing is our sort of thing. Malaysians and Singaporeans and hell Asians in general usually just entertain these gestures cause we don't want to be impolite you see. Under normal circumstances I'd ask the creeper to bugger off but since he's being "nice" to us we decided to give quasi affirmative responses. Despite being a tad uncomfortable in the dimly lit bus stop at night.

Out of nowhere his even creepier friend nudges his way under our umbrella to claim shelter from the rain around us. At this juncture I was getting a tad crossed that he was starting to invade my personal space so I told him to sod off to the bus shelter just beside us. But he insists on standing with us and proceeds to grab my hand and lift the umbrella higher when I pull from his grip and threaten legal action on him. What was I to do, the buggers were either high, pissing on Asians or just plain harassing me by that point and I wasn't going to have anything to do with it. Pulled the lawyer card out of fear and they backed off abit. Probably due to the other people at the bus stop as well.

And when the bus arrived, even though it was the wrong sort to the wrong destination, we got our arses on because street experience tells me I'd rather be safe than sorry you see.

Incident 2 happens just a couple of days later when I'm out on a spontaneous outing with this girl from my dinings and home town. We've gotten quite a great deal closer over the last few days because like I said before, fate is weird that way. Considering Korean boy was unable to attend the dining sessions and she was alone there that night too we just naturally clicked being Subang folk and all before going on many spontaneous adventures around the city. Guess I shall not preemptively presume what we are or where we're going but suffice to say on Sunday after a session at the Inns of Court we headed to Selfridges to look at brands far too expensive for either of us to really afford just to kill time and fantasize about the future.

Now this other randomer pops by as we're looking at some quirky overpriced designer products and tells us he's a fancy PHD student at LSE or something and acts all friendly. Us being polite decide to play along with his act when he offers for us to take down his number and before we realise it he's jamming it into the girl's cellphone before giving himself a call. Fuck me senseless, I must make a pretty shit straight boyfriend being unable to defend a girl from random twat-head here obviously hitting on her.

Then I did something spontaneous of course. I told him in these words, "I'm sure my wife and I would love to hang with you some time." whilst holding her close. Don't think he took us seriously but he went about his merry way after and she turned to me then.

"Wife? Not even girlfriend, but wife?"

And so I gave her a sort of cheeky smile, "Sorry but I just needed to cook up an excuse to make him sod off. Figured if you were my wife he'd be more apprehensive since people steal girl friends all the time."

She stares back into my eyes before saying, "Yea, quick thinking, Mrs <insert my surname here> it is then huh?" Before delivering her own cheeky smile. Heh, women.

PS: And yes obviously the creeper texts her and I suggest putting my profile picture on her Whatsapp to make him go away for abit. Let's see if that happens.