A Matter of Chemistry

So a couple of weeks ago I had been dating this fellow I had been talking over Jack'd for awhile. He had quite the interesting profile considering he was raised in Singapore, Hong Kong and the UK so I figured lets give it a go. Turns out he was quite a prominent figure, a successful young banker that's doing his PHD whilst tutoring physics at Imperial College by the side. One would swoon with a man of such achievements and maybe it caught my eye too. However it soon became apparent that there was a nagging question of chemistry.

For one, I had pathetic knowledge of the financial sector and economics considering those were never my areas of interest and he had no interest or working knowledge in the law making our conversations about work related matters and professional discussions rather awkward. I'd like to think I am a person of depth but when he goes off into a full blown discussion on markets and shares I feel ever so slightly stupid.

On the other the age gap has widened with him being towards the later end of the 20s making our interests and lingos a touch more distant. He might have some Singaporean background knowledge but considering his long absence from the island he might as well be another foreigner now. At least he tries with his pseudo Singlish I guess. That's the thing I always loved about my Malaysians, a common understanding and culture that we could all relate to. With the ex being from my hometown we could always swap over into the Subang culture's inside jokes and share intimate discussions about our politics of home, and use ourselves some Manglish and Malay to diffuse any tensions and make things cute. It's something my foreign dates have always lacked.

Him being a busy working professional isn't helping matters either considering how our schedules do not quite line up. As he works late into the night conversations are uneven and with long pauses. I did get slightly smitten when he did random calls to check how I was though, guess it was a throw back to the days when I was someone that was cared for. But it's a shame really, I don't think I'm connecting to him as much as I'd like to. He seems like a decent fellow and probably likes me quite a bit but my heart's not quite here though I thought it might be. We might head over to the Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park over the weekend, maybe a certain spark might develop over there.

Or maybe, just maybe, I'm just not quite over the ex yet and I really should have taken a break from relationships like I had originally planned. Maybe I'm still just comparing everyone as pale shadows to him when they might be perfectly legit candidates all along. The weather is dropping again, I think it will snow soon. This will be a cold winter, a winter without you. Some nights I do miss you Doc, I really do. I hope and pray Mr Banker isn't just a temporary solution to you, but maybe it truly is just a lack of chemistry. I'll know soon enough.

Winter always screws with ones mood. Always.