Topping

When I was younger, I always saw myself in an exclusively bottom/submissive position in a relationship or in sexual trysts and liaisons. The men in my life tended to reflect this general disposition of mine. Over the years though I discovered the other side of me, the ability to actually put my male tools to proper use for a change. It comes to no surprise that I have grown pretty fond of the alternative acts, but it does come with a slight problem. Premature explosions.

Now really I'm all up for dandy good times and rolling in the hay but whenever I reach Cloud 9 within a few minutes of insertion it always eats at my ego and is usually an embarrassing experience for both parties. Granted that my usual top sessions are relatively few and far between when I haven't had myself some action in some time, it may be fair to take those factors into consideration with my inability to cope with the heat and pleasure.

That is not to say I haven't occasionally found myself going beyond my usual median threshold but suffice to say it'd be good if I could perform without apprehensions and constantly having to worry about early fireworks. I reckon it's usually when I've exhausted my earlier reserves that I find myself performing relatively longer although if that is a prerequisite to every bout in bed that is rather sad really.

I reckon what I need is a relatively consistent bottom partner to train myself on a perpetual basis to hone my skills and tolerance so that the next time I engage in the acts of pleasure giving (as opposed to constantly being on the receiving end) I can at least perform to the level of a competent male. Because fuck me, I'm in my 20s. Time to buck up.

After experiencing the best of both worlds I have to say being the assertive partner in sexual encounters can be quite a challenge seeing as you carry the weight of the whole experience and contribute to the overall rhythm of the act. Although on a plus point the mess is far less contentious to deal with and you don't have to worry about any serious sores the day after.

If anyone has some tips and pointers to share on how to improve in being a top I'm all ears. Male ego cast aside and all that jazz. Shoot away lads. Figuratively speaking of course.

Western Etiquette (in Bed)

If there's one thing I've noticed, the natives here conduct their bed side manners in quite a different way from what I'm used to with Asians. For starters, there seems to be more inherent aggression. There always seems to be less foreplay and a more direct approach for genital stimulation. There also seems to be a lack of nipple stimulation where they are concerned.

Asians in bed generally tend to be subtler I find, they have an ebb and flow to their actions like a dance. There's that slight bit of holding back and giving in and pulling back or so I find. There's a more measured pace with a focus on the journey rather than the destination. Westerners however can't seem to wait to get your pants off and down themselves on your dick.

And then there's the bed side smack talk. There's alot of trash talk whilst Asians tend to stick more to moans and whimpers. Now British born Asians, they do all the above things the westerners seem to do in bed though. I find it a rather interesting observation, although I do find them a tad rough sometimes. There's also an element of domination weaved into the bed play, a relic of an imperialistic world view perhaps? (I kid you sensitive fuckers)

Either way, it's no surprise why I like my (authentic) Asian boys over the locals here, Asian or otherwise. Did I mention they taste different from us? Smell somewhat different too? Too much info? Not being racist, just a mere observation and a matter of preference really. Then again, I was never one to endorse generalizations and as such maybe this should be read unto my experiences as it is.

Men and Hormones

Holy Mackarel, nearly got myself into something I might regret recently. So after having a jolly decent Friday with some friends over from Manchester and Saturday morning/afternoon with Subang boy from summer I went back home to chill and get my work done (but we all know that never happens). Had myself a ring on Jack'd and checked it out. Turns out some relatively good looking Asian dude was unlocking his nude photos. Now normally this is the point where I block people off, but if they're sufficiently attractive and my hormones are acting up temptation settles in.

So yes I decided to entertain the nude man, probably began thinking with the other head instead. Then he invited me for a threesome, because conventional sex is too boring for some you see. His other friend then messages me with more unlocked nude pictures and I thought he wasn't too bad either. Was talking to Kayson over Facebook whether to indulge or not and then I suddenly had myself a really bad gut feeling that I might catch a particular disease I did not want. Further I really really did not want to end up in a ditch somewhere in East London with a used condom up my arse and so I did what was necessary and blocked the horny pair. Oh did I feel righteous that night.

Then Sunday came, and Mr Banker did not call so I can presume that we're just not that into each other. One case settled and sorted. Decided to open Grindr this time around and saw an Asian guy that was relatively nearby. Do you see a pattern here yet? Not me being a horny twat, but my excessive love and preference for Asians. I'm such a Rice Queen. Yea gay lingo here in the West is pretty fancy smancy with East Asians being called Rice, whites Potatoes, Indians Curry etc.

But yes suffice to say he invited me over for a quick shag. Now I have no idea what possessed me this time around but I actually got out of my house and went over to the street where he was. As I was headed there I realised I might be slightly stupid coming into this dodgy a neighbourhood, this late at night in the cold winter. So I called him up and realised that there were other people in the house as well and it wasn't going to be a one to one thing. Obviously this is the point where I began asking myself what the fuck I was even doing here and when he showed up to invite me in I refused.

And got the fuck out of there pronto.

No really, I knew I was young and horny but I definitely did not have to add reckless and stupid  as adjectives to the equation. Luckily at least on the face of it the guy was cool with my refusal but holy blazing hells imagine if I had gone into that home where 3 other guys were waiting to give me a gang bang of the century. I'm highly tempted to get rid of these apps again, London will be my downfall good god.

And back to writing legal Opinions because I'm a boring downer. Tsk tsk.

HIV Check Ups

As a healthy sexually active (semi) gay male I thought it would do me good to get myself some regular checks at the genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinics just to ensure I haven't caught something nasty from my partners and flings because heaven knows where their own genitals have been. Considering my ex was a medic, he drummed in me very serious lessons about HIV, STIs (STDs) and other assorted risks I should be aware of and I tell you that's all I ever think of before sex is concerned (and post sex for that matter), risk risk risk.

For one I don't give unprotected blow jobs anymore because knowing some people and their skanky habits of visiting spas and having random sex in gym showers and dank alleys (the ultimate STD havens) I'd do well to protect myself from chlamydia and herpes and fuck knows what other weird shit exist in the nether regions of dusty medical tomes. I've had myself some scares in the past where I'd develop fevers after sexual activity although to date fortunately these HIV scares have all been false alarms. Still you most probably wouldn't want to swallow ejaculate of the first random stranger you meet or to even be complacent giving a blow job with ulcers and cuts because that shit transmits through your cuts too.

Funny story, the last round I had myself a check up there were two attractive young female doctors in the room. Well one of them was actually a final year medical student that was there to observe the process although it only increased the awkwardness of the situation. Me being bisexual certainly did not help matters, having attractive ladies examine my intimate regions and what have you. The last thing I would want would be a misplaced erection giving rise to much consternation and embarrassment. And yes you drop your trousers and let them fondle your balls for abit to check for any odd lumps that might develop. Yes they do swab samples from your urethra and anus and mouth (all separately of course, blimey) but these are only if you insist on a full check which very many Malaysians sadly do not do. Heaven knows how many of my fellow countrymen carry the odd infection however minor. 

Back to the story though, at least no misplaced erections happened although I was somewhat less embarrassed this time around with my third series of health checks as compared to my first time (which was nerve wrecking). And yes they ask you alot of intimate details and personal matters to ascertain the degree of risk. I'm happy to be clean of everything at my last check and hope to remain that way. So boys and girls, the point of this half health advice article, half awkward experience is to get yourself tested if you want to fuck with some peace of mind. No really, get yourself tested now before you infect the whole community. Play safe and play nice now. ;)