Another One Bites the Dust

Dear J, it has been quite the ride and though its come to this I wish you nothing but the best. You're an accomplished young man, reaching above your weight and have gone through your fair share of difficult family moments and tough times of the heart.

I hope you find yourself some day, and that you'd enjoy eventual work in JP Morgan. Perhaps I may not have lived up to the standards you have hoped for, but I suppose in some ways you did not meet mine too.

We both tried, you and I. But as usual distance and weariness and fatigue has crept in. Promise me you'll be a more positive person in the future and try not to be too blunt towards those that care for you in the future. There have been many hurtful things said by you in our short adventure together but perhaps someone else will be able to better handle these things.

Perhaps what you really were looking for was a father figure absent from the troubled personal issues of your childhood. I am unable to offer patronage but I can offer partnership. Evidently that is not what you desire, not at this time. We speak different love languages. I suppose we are just very different people.

After tonight, I sense a degree of finality and closure to this undefined thing we've had, for what it was worth. It was a good month, I was genuinely happy for a change. Alas, all good things will sway and turn, as with the bad. I still believe, I still have faith, but I know for a change what it is I want.

I'd like for once in my life not to play second fiddle to any body.

To be the one that is loved most by those I love.

Whether its Reece or Yang or Sean or whoever the fuck comes around to replace me as they seem to do, I'd like to be the one for a change.

But I'm not the one. But someday for someone, perhaps I will be.

And when that day comes, I'd like to be the best boyfriend I can be for whoever the right one is. Every failed endeavour is a lesson learned.

I'll miss you and I'm sure you'd miss me too in your own way.

But I do know as you do too that I don't love you, just as you never loved me. I know exactly what you meant, though I'd never admit it, for I have been in love before. But I do care, for what it was worth.

For what it was worth.

Take care buddy. Pal. </3