Acceptance

After grappling with denial, anger and depression it was refreshing for a change to be happy seeing you happy. It has not been easy, losing you and seeing you in the arms of another. I've had nightmares, and sleep deprivation and other assorted grief related symptoms you don't need to know of.

But tonight, I came to terms. I came to terms I wouldn't be getting you back in the foreseeable future and I understood I had to let you go. Seeing you happy, for once did not fill me with longing or jealousy but rather peace for a change. I know how I had hurt you and to see you mended and well, I smiled.

I don't want to be the psycho ex, the sort that has no ounce of dignity or self worth. The sort that obsesses and cries himself to sleep. The malicious vengeful sorta ex that is the butt end of every unspeakable joke. I just want to be remembered as a person who was once special to you, who made an impact in some good ways and that you once loved.

I understand now, peace and closure come from within. My hopes and dreams have been adjusted, as I bid you a sorrowful farewell. Perhaps in the far future, we'd meet again like old friends and share our joint experiences in our sunset years. We'd appreciate the moments we had together once more and laugh at all the good and sad times we'd gone through together.

A part of me will always love you. I promise you this.

I'm going now Jun, it's time to leave.

I wish you well. I always have. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. And now you are.

Fare ye well beloved, till we meet again in this life or the next.

You have my heart, you always did. But I have to move on now.

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