So I was messaged on Jack'd the other day by this rather cute individual (good to know I still have market value) and me being human as I am responded naturally because we're all a little shallow inside. So the conversation was going relatively fine, although I noticed he had a tendency to deflect personal questions in a not so subtle way and considering his hidden face photos I had no doubt in my mind that he was someone knee deep in the closet. Did I mention I hate people deflecting questions I ask or outright ignoring them? Sorry, I digressed.
"Hey I'm super super discrete so I'll appreciate it if we could keep this between us." No shit Sherlock moment there.
Oddly enough he then decides to add me over Facebook, Whatsapp and Skype. We of course then have ourselves a Skype call naturally, whilst stalking each other's online profiles. He was better looking than I had initially thought, looked somewhat like an old flame of mine from one of those summers I had back in Malaysia. And then we had ourselves a brief call before he had to toss the trash. Funnily enough he had this to say:
"Hey whilst we were skyping I felt a little uncomfortable towards the way you talked like how you rolled your eyes or how you talked in a certain way. It wasn't really straight acting. Sorry to tell you this but I thought should be honest >.<"
"Hope you don't mind."
Mate you must be fucking kidding me, obviously I mind. Did you just directly question my masculinity? You do not insult the male ego to that extent and expect things to be fine. It's not that I can't act straight, I do. But obviously when I'm meeting a fellow gay lad on a private chat channel I'm not going to be overly formal or overly "straight". Guys that try too hard to "act straight" usually just come off as the biggest douchebags or tools imaginable. It's pretentious and I honestly hate posers, men that think they are all that but quite frankly aren't, their insecurity reeks through their excessive macho bravado.
Naturally I continue the conversation later as usual because he is hot (I'm shallow) and he could probably offer me benefits in some shape or form some time. Expendable human being. My douche side is showing fuck me. But yes this guy clearly had some issues considering he's never dated men in his life and only recently begun experimenting with them and realising he likes cock up his arse or arse up his cock. Get's super uncomfortable being seen with men and gets all edgy whenever I mention gay related topics even in the privacy of his own room due to his paranoia of eavesdropping housemates.
Jesus mate, sounds to me like you need therapy and a good few years of sorting yourself out before going anywhere near the gay world. I might be bi, but bisexuals of these sort are pretty damn hypocritical I'd say. Good enough to bed, not good enough to wed by all accounts. I reckon he thinks he's an alpha male of sorts (I attract these types for some reason) but he's most likely more akin to one of those fagbagsters we know Asia is famous for.
Oh give the guy sometime, i guess he was eager to show u he was honest or something, and if he did insult u (which he did) i think it was not intentional, although insensitive. Also I understand how closeted people are, I'm kinda in between both worlds as well. When u said how he gets edgy being seen around guys or gay related topic i could somehow relate it to myself, remembered how i will always feel uncomfrtable being seen with an obvious gay person, even though he might be just a friend or even gay-related topics, with straight friends. But I've never been edgy around guys hahaha.
ReplyDeletehahah you know u r the better guy, so forgive him lah = ) I still remembered i knew this guy who was obviously gay but denied in front of everyone that he is, which is fine, but it's not fine when he started bitching about other gay people and telling dirty secrets to friends. That's when i get really pissed because i think we should keep things to ourselves and it's ur life anyway so u can do whatever u want, just don't fuckin mess up other people's. hahahaha
= )
btw which part of uk r u in = ) i can tell from the way u write.
ReplyDeleteOh hiya, I'm based in London and you? And nah I wasn't even that irritated but I have a writing style that seems to make me sound filled with angst when I'm not. But yea being edgy in public is one thing, but on private Skype calls is a whole new level altogether haha. Serious internal homophobia right there.
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