It occurred to me last night all of a sudden, in one of my sleepless nights...I no longer thought of him daily. I no longer ached, or longed, or felt a deep sense of loss. I had found a certain degree of peace.
I felt then an odd mix of feelings, and mix of fear and relief, fear of finally letting ago and yet relief all the same.
I looked upon the pictures of his new love life, and finally in my heart of hearts gave my blessing. It was a small symbolic gesture, but it meant something to me.
Still, on the streets of Bangkok or Ho Chi Minh, wearing clothes that he'd used to wear, basking in cultures he used to like, I do not doubt the depth and degrees of which he influenced me and played a part in my life. Those are the parts of him I would always keep.
Its nearing the final quartile of 2018, soon we would have been split for 3 whole years and more. I spent the greater part of 2017 hoping against hope.
At least now I have found a friend in him, I can truly be happy for him though we are no longer together, and of that I am proud.
But you'll always hold a special place in my heart, as I'm sure I do yours. Even if you'll never tell me.
E.L
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